Monday, April 20, 2009

A day in the life of a death wish dog.

*****EDIT**** I have to share this with you: Every morning when I walk Peyton to the bus stop, I have to but the terrible twosome away because even though I'm only gone 5 minutes, the mischief, mayhem and chaos that happens in those few short minutes is equal to Armageddon. Well, almost. This morning I was chatting on the phone and then ran a few minutes late, so against better judgement, I didn't put them away. I came home and Levi had gotten onto the counter and taken eggs out of Peyton's basket that were filled with playdoh. He ATE 3 EGGS FULL OF PLAYDOH. YUM!
I've been compiling a list of all the bad things Levi has done ( along with his sweet faced yet more than willing to join in companion, Cosmo). I've misplaced it. I have a sign in my kitchen that says "Those who are organized, are just too lazy to look for things." Ummm, yeah that sums me up right now. Well, I've always been disorganized but I normally LOOK for things. The medicines that keep me semi-functional (many people probably are begging to differ at this point...because of the muscle relaxants, my speech has gotten pretty sloppy, lol) just zap any energy out of my dilapidated body. Okay, stepping away from the tangent...about the list, I'm going by memory here, I know there are WAY more things but I'll add them later.

I keep ice-packs on my back a large part of the day. I've got the fancy-schmancy one (made of some type of space age NASA astronaut clay) all the way down to the old triple ziplock bag full of corn. As a side note, the clay one works like crap...it's super fun to squish but never really gets cold enough for my taste and doesn't stay cold. One of my favorites (other than the corn! LOL) was a bag of PEAZ. They are sold at CVS and look like a bag of silicon-ish cobalt blue peas. They got nice and cold, stayed cold and were a great size plus were cheap. One day, I was sitting on my foyer steps with the bag of PEAZ on my back waiting for a friend to come pick me up. As I left, I put the PEAZ on the banister railing and yelled to the big kids to please put the PEAZ back in the freezer. When I came back, I went to the freezer to get my PEAZ, simultaneously Peyton asked what Levi was eating. If you spend ANY amount of time in my house, you will hear "What is (insert Dog name here) eating?!!!" at any given moment. As I rushed to see, he quickly swallowed the remnants of his contraband. I searched for clues around the area and only found one small piece of clear heavy but pliable plastic. OH GOD! MY PEAZ! He ate the daggone PEAZ. I quickly called CVS and hastily explained my problem
and pleaded with the clerk to read the packaging to me. Luckily, they were non-toxic but who KNOWS what the things are made of. Because what goes in must come out, we (meaning the

twins because this Momma is DONE with doggie doody duty) found a very nice mound of PEAZ in the backyard. Oddly enough the individual PEAZ had swollen to like 5 times their initial size. Nice.

* Let's see...I think I already shared on here about the loaves of bread he ate that I had rising on the top of the dryer.

*Too many crayons to count. It sure helps the kids when they have doody duty!
*He likes to vomit up bits of toys in the nite. Those are fun to step on when you make the midnight run to the potty. Wet stuffed animal goo between your toes. Nice.
* 2 Nora Roberts paperbacks he used like chew-bones (not to mention the TWILIGHT movie companion he ruined a couple months back!) At least they were still readable, I just couldn't take them out in public.

*Another pack of sugar-free gum. Remember people, if the gum has xylitol in it, it can be DEADLY so don't buy it if you have a canine gum chewer like Mr. Levi.

These are all photos of the doggies today. Notice that Levi is the only one truly awake. He's plotting his next bit of mayhem. But he is a sweeeeeet boy. Macy, our princess, is wondering why I haven't covered her with the blanket. Coz can barely open his eyes enough to see what I'm doing. YES, he still has the doo dads, I promise they are on my list of things to have taken care of.


Look for my next post...I went to a friend's wedding and snapped a few shots....she looked lovely!

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